Jillyn (jill) wrote,

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people don't change they just become more of who they are.

all right so last night i went to sleep at like 3 i think. i woke up at like 9 though. which was two hours eariler than i set my alarm for so thats a plus. all i did all morning was sit around and clean my room some more cuz i want it to be something idon't have to worry about when school starts and i did all the laundry. i watched maury too. that show always makes me cry. i don't know why. today it was about mothers who have tested like 10 guys to be the father of their child and they were testing another one today. some of them found the father. some of htem didn't. some of the guys were assholes. some of them were caring. it's weird how different people in the world actually are. anyway. at like 11 me and tara and lindsay went up to the school to get our schedules and decorate our lockers. but the guidance counslers were out to lunch so we talked to mr schwan for a while and that's about it. then we decorated our lockers. mines only halfway decorated. i ran out of pictures. oh well i'm taking a magazine to school tomorrow. i'm sure i'll get bored sometime during the day. i saw kelli there. we have calc together. haha. i don't have a single class without someone that i know. i guess that would be kinda odd. since i know everyone that goes to my school anyway. lol. oh yeah and courtney was there. well one time like two weeks ago tara was over and she IMed naomi (cheds new gf) and started cussing at her and shit haha and i guess country's friends sister is friends with her and was asking her if she knows who she is or wahtever and courtneys like "as soon as i heard the name ched i knew it had something to do with jill. but i didn't say nothing" i bet she didn't. riiiiight. oh well. things get around the town like sarah kuns does. well after that me and tara went to bogart (our elementary school) and visited mrs kishman the 2nd grade teacher. i don't remember having her. but maybe i did. i don't know. anyway shes really nice and we just talked to her for a while and then tara came over and we went swimming until she had to go to work then she left and i went to kara's and james was there and we watched some movie but iwas really tired so i fell asleep for a while. theni woke up and came home and washed my car real quick and me and kara went to walmart staples and meijer to finish getting some school stuff. kara got these ball point pencils. isn't that weird. they have like liquid lead in them. and you can erase them but they write like pens.. they're really weird. haha but they are cool. i got some no more tangles haha did anyone use that when they were little? it's pimp. haha. anyway then we went to wendy's (of course) i need to stop eating there and got a jr bacon cheeseburger.i swear if you don't eat them everyday now. never ever have one. because you get hooked on them like none other. haha. and then we went to burger king and got milkshakes. their milkshakes are awesome too. haha. and then we came home and i came home and i was locked out of my house and there was some other truck here not my dads. i found it very odd they were 4 vehicles in my driveway and i was locked out of my house... so i opened the garage with my opener and came in that way and i realized that my cousins were swimming in my pool and me and kara went to my room to talk and then my dad came home and went off on me about the garage being open (i guess i forgot to shut it) and he was really drunk and he's like ARE YOU A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. he's so gay. then other times hes like YOU'RE 15 YEARS OLD. i'ml ike dad. i'm 17 and a half..... he dont even know how old i am. he treats me like i'm like 15 and then hes like ARE YOU A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. i'm like what the heck. it 's so gay. he just goes off on me for gay stuff all the time. i really hate him and sometimes i just can't take it. my grandma and my mom are always like we're so stressed we just want you guys to get along and i wish with all of my heart i could get along with him just to make them happy but i don't ever see that happening. anyway on another note. i went to karas house and painted my toe nails and nails then. green to match the outfit im wearing tomorrow. haha. then i came home and took a long shower and did the deep conditioning stuff and shaved and did a face mask and put on my baby lotion and now i just feel so much better. i guess i'm "prepared" for school now. because i actually did get everything done that i wanted to get done and i feel like i have nothing else to do. well i been thinking about brandon all day. all i want to do is talk to him. i would feel a lot better. but he won't be back until thursday. thanks to him telling me he was actually leaving (like usual) i don't understand him at times. i know he has a lot going on right now. something about his family he hasn't told me yet but i'm not going to ask him or force him to tell me. he will sometime he said. cuz i asked him if he planned on telling me. but anyway he has a lot going on so i'm not going to get mad cuz then i would feel guilty. i just hope that he's happy. and actually i haven't gone school clothes shopping yet, but pretty sonce i won't be working week days and neither wil my mom so.. we'll have plenty of time. that's about it i guess. well i just was nervous like an hour ago but i'm not nervous anymore. i don't know why i was nervous haha ig et nervous before school every year and you'd think if there was one year i was going to not be nervous it woudl be this year cuz god knows i'm going to be soo nervous next year. i just can't believe i'm going to be a senior. this is the last year. and i know i'm going to look back and read this someday and i'm going to be like wow. i don't even know what i will think. we were talking today it seems like when you were little everything was so easy andall you wanted to do was grow up and older people would tell you no you just want to stay the age you are. but you didn;t. you didn't want to listen to them. and now i tell little kids that, and they say the same thing i would say. it's weird. but i would say other than that being 17 in high school is the perfect age. it's the perfect time. andi enjoy it all i can. i'm going to miss it. but this year i'm not going to try to spend so much time thinking about it from a sad prespective. i'm jsut going to live it and deal with that part later... and i hope everything is great and everyone has fun and we can all stay close and be friends. i love you guys and i love everything we share and i don't want to give it up. let's make this year the best year there can ever possibly be. i'm sure it will be.

this next paragraph is going to be about this summer. i wish i would have done this last summer. because i don't remember what i was thinking when summer ended. or what i thought of it. but now i look back on last summer and it was just awesome. sure,i worked a lot. but i met a lot of different people at work. i made new friends within my school and outside of school, and even outside of the country. i also learned what responsibilty was and how to manage money. this summer i didn't plan on working until i wrecked my car. i just wanted to chill and have fun all summer. but i wrecked my car and i felt responsible for that so i got two jobs. sure i had a lot of days off and i still had plenty of time to enjoy the summer. but i became really close with tara lately. that's cool because shes a cool girl. i'm sorry to my firends who feel like i ditched them. i didn't mean and i never will on purpose. give me a call if you want to do something. dont expect me to call you. i miss you guys and i would call you if i wanted to do something so feel free to call me. i want to be friends always and i'll never trade you guys or think any less of you. i wnat you to know that. but back on the subject of summer. the first part of summer went slow because i lost my license. you'd be amazed how slow time goes when you don't have your license. and i was thinking about it the other day. ever since i turned 16 and got it the past year and a half have gone soooo much faster than the 15 years before that haha. and i worked at mcdonald's that also made time go slow. i was pretty laid back this summer, but not too laid back. i still stick up for myself and i don't atke crap from no one. i feel more comfortable talking to people i haven't talked to before now. i met some new people at work that are my age that are actually cool. instead of a lot of losers that worked there last year. well besides people from my school. but i met aaron and mike and luke worke dhtere last year and now stacie and cody from school but they're in a different grade. all of them are really cool and we've hung out outside of work. i'll be sad on the last day of work this year. i guess there's not really much to say about this summer except that i enjoyed it. well i enjoy every summer. i'm sure everyone does. but i had a lot of fun. i spent a lot of nights just staying out with people and talking to people and i even had my first boy friend and now i like this other guy and i really want to be with him. i have known him for almost a year.. and yeahhh. he's awesome if you put aside the few negative things. but relationships all need work. i don't even know where this is going. but i love summer. i love the laziness of it even if you're in the rush and i'm definitely a summer girl. i don't think anything came out of this summer like came out of last summer. well. i'm sure a few minor things did but not as much as last summer. but you do learn new things everyday. and it's a good thing.
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